Well, we’ve made it to day three.

Day one was as successful as it probably could have been. I did have to adjust my definition of success to include poops on the floor, but they weren’t in a diaper so that’s a win. We knew it would happen, but we had a really hard time staying in the house all day, so we had one pair of pee pants as well as a casualty to our coffee and park walk.

I may regret saying this, but I don’t know that being very unprepared was such a bad thing. Then again, I was texting with a mom friend who is also potty training her son. She’s much more prepared than we are. She read Oh Crap! Potty Training, which is supposed to be a good read and a totally awesome way to do potty training. Basically, I’ve skipped class and am copying all of her notes just before finals.

In order to be slightly prepared for day two, I read an excellent overview of the two or three-day method on Lucie’s List. This is where I got the idea to up the fluids for day two and see if that would help things click.

Yesterday, day two opened with a screaming rejection of going to the bathroom first thing in the morning. I was also not the preferred parent in that moment, putting me at an immediate disadvantage. I texted my better-prepared friend to get help around 9:30am. We were nearly three hours in to the day with no pee anywhere.

She assured me that day two “is the biggest day of resistance,” which sounded totally logical. We offered the equivalent of drugs to the little man – juice, and a shitload of it.

Thanks to climate change, El Nino, and while we’re at it, probably Obama, we were blessed with a 70 degree day, which meant pants-free time in the back yard. He really seemed to get it with peeing. He also really liked to go stand right in front my husband and pee at him, which I found quite amusing.

My husband has informed me that there’s no going back to diapers, that we’re in it to win it.

So here we are at day three, where I have developed a full fledge phobia.  I have become obsessed with whether or not the little man will poop. I am incredibly afraid of him becoming constipated.

When a little person becomes constipated, it’s a really big deal.

There was a story a few years ago in the Washington Post about a three year old girl suspended from school for too many potty accidents. I read a follow up where it turns out it wasn’t a discipline or training issue, little Zoe was suffering from major constipation.

Apparently constipation in children doesn’t look like you think it would. Signs of constipation in toddlers include:

• Frequent peeing
• Bed wetting
• Frequent UTIs
• Pooping more than twice a day
• Huge poops
• Firm poops
• Loose poops/poop accidents
• Itchy butt/skid marks
• Belly pain
• Continued trouble with poop training/hiding to poop in diapers

In my mind, the only thing constipation means is not pooping. I had no idea that lots of poop could also mean constipation. The site Bedwetting and Accidents has really easy to digest free downloads all about this stuff.

We’ve been really lucky with our toddler and poop. I’m all about prevention and maintenance when it comes to his diet. Yes, I know that I’m saying toddlers should have a good diet, the same people that can magically survive on nothing but white bread and milk. We push blueberries in our house, as they have a ton of fiber. Water is important to keep things moving through, and fats like avocado and coconut keep things slippery. Just so you know, my toddler eats like a toddler. I consider plant matter of any sort a win, and figure if he has days where all he eats are Puffins and fruit, so be it. I also think we lucked out that he isn’t a milk drinker due to a milk protein allergy, as I hear big milk drinkers get backed up more frequently.

Tonight I had to remind my husband that we have to think like poop doulas. I have never been more obsessed with another person’s poop.